rebellious ways

I was having a conversation with a friend last night about why people stay in their current lifestyle situations. I was telling her how, after much research, I've decided to transition to vegetarian and eventually vegan. I definitely haven't always felt that way.

She was saying that, as a big girl (and always being bigger), she was always told she was fat. By her father, by her grandmother, by random cruel people in the mall or walking down the street. After growing comfortable in her own skin (which, I don't believe to be true, and I'll tell you why later), when anyone says "YOU SHOULDN'T EAT THIS!" or "YOU'RE GOING TO GET FAT IF YOU EAT THAT," it's an act of rebellion to eat whatever the hell you want to eat. I won't lie, I've been there, done that. I also know that after I'm done "eating whatever the hell I want," I feel like straight dog shit.

So instead of staying stagnant, I decided to do things that would make me feel better and healthier; in turn, those things will make me lose weight. Maybe not in a short period of time, but by creating better habits, I will be leaner in the long run. Instead of stopping at Dunkin Donuts for a coffee and a donut I've switched to oatmeal and an apple, paired with my own coffee and cream from home. Instead of a Whopper meal and a Coke at lunch, I've switched to salads and soup and sandwiches with vegetarian lunch meat, and TONS of water. I actually haven't had a soda in about a month now - that alone has changed a lot about the way I feel. To be honest, I'm afraid to drink soda anymore, lol.

Anywho, now on to why we never really feel completely comfortable in our own skin. We can say we love ourselves all day long, that we don't care what other people think about us, blah blah BLAH. But there is always something we want to change, and we DO care about what people think.  Why else do we conform to the new fashion styles?  I mean seriously, why in the HELL would anyone in their RIGHT mind wear those Marant moon shoe looking things?!?!  Anyway, it could be your hair, your nails, dry skin, arms, legs, flat ass, STOMACH. My mother is a size 2 and probably weighs 110 pounds soaking wet, and she has told me she hates it. Even thin people can feel self conscious. In a society where "Thin Is Beautiful", it's difficult as a chubbster to really be comfortable. We have TV telling us how we should look, magazines, newspapers, even the music industry. But nobody is telling anyone (in the media) how to just FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF. Instead of telling "bitches" to be a 36-24-36, how about tell women that they are all beautiful. Hell, it doesn't even have to just be aimed at women; but we are emotional creatures, it's a little harder for us to handle scrutiny.

So create better habits. You don't have to tackle everything at once. Start small and work your way up. I started by cutting out soda, and it was the best thing I've ever done.  Break out of the rebellion habit, it really isn't hurting anyone but YOU.