let me start this thing off by saying i am in no way a gym rat, a fitness freak, or a health freak (yet). most of the information i can provide you is from personal experience, and if it doesn't help you in your goals, i hope that i can at least make you laugh.
about 2 and a half years ago, i left my ex-husband (i won't go into detail until waaaaay down the road, as to save you from boredom and/or pity). the moment he spoke those unforgettable words, my entire being went into both an overdrive of some sort, and a stagnant state (AT THE SAME. DAMN. TIME.). the amount of crazy that was bouncing back and forth between my brain and heart was just....astronomical; but at the same time, i did not want to do ANYTHING. i had no desire to do anything but sit on my bed, bawl my freaking eyes out, and say "Why meeeeeeeeeee???!?!" out loud every so often. i actually went 8 days without eating. yeah, tell me about it. and don't you dare judge me, my nerves were so shot i'm surprised i didn't go completely crazy. but that was the beginning of my weight-loss journey.
as terrible as it sounds, it was the very thing that motivated me to make better decisions with what i put in my body. now, don't get me wrong, i have eaten the fattiest foods ever (well, not ever, i still haven't had a Luther Burger), but i don't indulge as much anymore. actually, i still have my days, but they are so few and far between now that i can call them cheat days.
during that first 8 days, i dropped 25 pounds. crazy huh? of course, most of it was water weight, but i liked the results that i saw. instant gratification. so i joined a gym. One Life. SN - WHY do gyms charge such outrageous start up fees? ugh! anyway. i started being a little more conscious of what i put in my mouth. within the first 8 months, i had probably dropped, oooooooooooh, about 30 pounds? sounds about right. it was GLORIOUS. i was able to wear things i hadn't worn in years. i was getting so much attention (which was not a good thing, i'll explain why in a sec). but i still didn't love myself. i had been beat down so much (verbally, emotionally, and mentally), that i literally hated myself. i wasn't losing fast enough. my clothes were fitting weird. i was in between sizes. the list goes on and on. i sought acceptance from others to try to build self confidence..so that i could accept myself (told ya). terrible. that's probably one of the worst things i (or anyone else, for that matter) could have ever done.
anyway, time went on, i dealt with all of my SHIT...i grew (mentally, spiritually). my mind has opened up to so many different things, i am just...astounded by my progress. i hope you enjoy my journey from here on out :) be ready though, this ride is bound to be a little blustery :)
L.O.V.E!!
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